late friday



back in the room, the four of us girls primped and preened and got all gussied up. for the first time in ages, i was the first one ready. unsurprisingly, it was the genetically tardy Lisa who took last place. by about 10:30, we were all impatient for drinks.
Patty was the resourceful one with the Signature Gold Card, which, she informed us, entitled her to access to the exclusive Foundation Room on the top floor of our hotel. she got her name on the list and we crossed the velvet rope.
it was a small club, filled with fashionable people and blasting music that was 'hip' five years ago. we made our way to the balcony outside, and were awed by a full view of the strip, blinking and blazing in all her gaudy glory. a round young man in a red striped shirt approached us and, with an air of arrogance his shape did not support, asked us a series of personal questions. i asked him, "are you going to buy us a drink?"
"why would i do that? are you going to buy me a drink?"
"you would buy us drinks because we are being charitable by tolerating you. i am not going to buy you a drink, so you can leave now."
the poor thing stuck around a while longer, until we all headed inside to buy our own drinks.
Lisa and i left the girls in a comfy lounge filled with sofas, and returned to the balcony to smoke. as i admired the view, i felt a very large man lean against the rail behind me, and heard Lisa shriek. "what's wrong??!?!" i asked her, and she said, "there's someone famous right next to you!!"
"who?" i wanted to know, before i turned around and freaked out myself.
"it's Ray Romano's brother, from that tv show!"
damn, i was hoping for someone more like Brad Pitt...
we headed back inside for another drink, and to show the other girls that Ray Romano's brother was there. yes, i know that's not his name, but for the rest of the weekend we were shouting, "hey, that's Ray Romano's brother!!"
the novelty wore off at the Foundation Room, so we went back downstairs to find another club. this time it was Viv with the hookups, because her fiancee is a cop, and his partner is the cousin of Ivan Kane, who owns Forty Deuce. try remembering that when you're drunk!
i had been working out my speech for the bouncer on the walk over, but a very inebriated Vivi walked straight up to the guy. "You can't come in here," he said.
"I need to talk to Ivan. Is he here?"
"Oh, yeah, he's right over there, see him?"
"Yes I do," and she marched in.
we followed her, and to my horror i saw that she was, indeed, going to talk to Ivan. "keep walking..." i whispered to her, trying to avoid a scene, and i shoved her along to the bar.
we ordered a few more shots and a drink each, then Viv and Patty left for the bathroom. Lisa and i were left at the bar, and she suggested we drink some more.
"friend, i'm already drunk!"
"well i'm almost drunk, one more will push me over. BARTENDER! two jager bombs and two more beers!"
shiiiiiit...
we made for the dance floor, dragged by Lisa. we all danced for a few minutes, and then some lovely lady walked onto the stage and did a sexy dance for us. a second dancer came out for her number, but i happened to notice that Lisa had vanished. i looked for her in the bathroom with no luck, and after 20 minutes the bride was frantic. when we finally found her, she was hanging on the arm of some 40+ year old man who looked creepy. we decided to leave.
i walked with Vivi, while Patty kept an eye on Lisa and Creepy. Viv started to cry, depressed that no guys had hit on her all night. "but you're wearing your wedding ring, hon, and nobody in Vegas is looking for a keeper..."
she was still depressed when Patty came running up to me- "Lisa's taking off with that old guy!"
"Vivi's crying!" i answered her, and we traded tasks.
with Patty looking after the bride, i ran off to catch Lisa and Creepy. "where are you going?" i asked them.
"I'm off to play blackjack, and your friend here wants to watch."
"that's fine, but can you spare her for a minute while i run upstairs to change my shoes? i'd like to play, too, but my feet are killing me in these heels and i don't want to leave her."
"Aw, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself."
i gave him a look and he got an attitude with me. i knew i would slip and call him a creepy old man if i didn't end the conversation quickly, so i grabbed Lisa (who was stumbling) and asked her, "do you remember our room number?"
[the correct answer was 25-334]
Lisa looked at me, her eyes unfocused, and said, "6.....5.....7..?"
"not even close, my friend."
creepy guy looked at me and said, "you have me convinced. i don't want to be stuck with a drunk girl all night," and he handed her off to me.
we all went upstairs, and i put on my flip flops. i was ready to go back down, but Patty had changed into her pj's so fast no one else even noticed. we decided to stay in, but Patty and Lisa ran downstairs to get a bottle of rum and some cokes.
to make a long story short, they were gone two hours. Vivi was drunk as a skunk, and she kept saying, "but Patty's in her pj's!" she passed out shortly thereafter, but i stayed up to make sure they came back. as the sun was coming up, they stumbled in the door saying things like, "that loser from the apprentice was a jerk!" and "whaddaya mean i can't go in there? i've already been there!"
they passed out fast.
when i finally closed my eyes to sleep, everything was spinning. my last thought was, i didn't know i was this drunk! then the world turned off.